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"X Tracers" Screenplay written by Peter
Layton
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CAPTAININT. OFFICE - DAY
Sir! We're here!
CAPTAINCautiously, Tester pokes his head up, then jumps to his feet, cell phone in hand.
Mister Tester? You okay?
TESTERThe cell suddenly RINGS. It was never on. Tester was barking into dead air.
Yes, Captain! Just dropped my cell!
(barking into cell)
Hang tough! I'm coming in with backup!
Don't move until--
TESTERINT. HALLWAY - DAY
What? Yeah, they just got here. We're
on our way.
TESTERTester leads the soldiers to a steel-bolted iron door with a sign marked
Are your men Level Five security
cleared, Captain?
CAPTAIN
Yes, sir.
TESTER
Because this is Level Six.
CAPTAIN
Level Six? I've never heard of Level Six.
TESTER
That's right. And you still haven't.
TESTERPlacing his hand on a flat electronic fingerprint scanner pad, Tester opens his eyes
Ignore that sign! Forget that sign!
TESTERTester's voiceprint of those words freezes on a small screen. A second voiceprint
A test subject is trying to escape.
COMPUTER VOICE
Name and today's Alpha Codeș
you have four seconds.
TESTER
Patrick Tester. Omega Delta Beta Five.
VOICEThree massive steel bolts slam back, unlocking the iron door.
Voice, retina, and fingerprint scans
matched and confirmed.
TESTERThere's a ROAR of rage from inside, then WHAM! a fist the shakes the iron door.
Captain, you should know that a
Level Six subject is abnormally
TESTERA soldier rushes up with a napalm flame-thrower weapon, a second with a liquid
Watch your step! The floor's slippery!
CAPTAIN
Napalm and liquid nitro! Let's go!
TESTERSlipping an Elephant Sedative needle the length of a railroad spike into a
Good. The fire will hold him back and the
ice will slow him down enough to be tranked.
TESTERThe iron lab doors blast open. The flame-thrower shoots an orange stream of fire
Brace yourself. This could get weird.
INT. LABORATORY - DAY
CAPTAINLeading from the rear, Tester cautiously enters the deserted, trashed lab room.
Cease fire! Cease fire! He's gone, sir!
TESTERTester stops dead at the sight of the ripped up floor leading down at an exposed
Gone? That's imposs--
CAPTAININT. SEWAGE PIPE - DAY
Sir, that sewage line goes all the way
to the mountains. He's dead for sure.
TESTER
No, Captainșnot for sure.
GUARDRING! A ringing phone startles the guard into quickly answering.
Better story would be 'bout a guard who
goes frigging insane guarding a frigging
lake of crap in the middle of--
GUARDGrabbing a pair of binoculars, the guard trains them on an exposed pipeline's
Sewage Facility Secuwhat? Theș
the sewage pipe, Captain? Yes, sir!
GUARDA dark shape shoots up right in front of the binoculars. The guard drops them,
Holy--!
TESTERINT. GUARDHOUSE DAY
Now, son, listen to me carefullyș
TESTER'S VOICESquinting through cold, black eyes, the Shark Man croaks up at the guard.
șthis escapee will look very unusual.
SHARK MANPurpled-faced, the choking guard tosses down his car keys. With one hand, the
Car keys! Now!
TESTER'S VOICERipping a locked shotgun off the wall, the Shark Man twists it like a pretzel
He's freakishly strong, hyper-aggressiveș
TESTER'S VOICEFumbling to lift the gun, the guard drops it. The Shark Man whips around. His
șand a homicidally insane killer.
GUARDPoor choice of words. The Shark Man lunges forward, his mouth snapping open.
Sorry, I'm sorry! Hey, c'mon, man,
I was just doing my job!
SHARK MAN
Your scientists were just doing their job
when they turned me into a freak. Implants,
transplants, bio-mech grafts, shark DNAș
look what they did to me. Look!
GUARD
Hey, pal, don't take it out on me, I hate
this frigging place too no need to bite
my head off.
TESTER
We need the freak tracer. Find Tom
Sloan.
SUSAN
Tom Sloan is nuttier than squirrel
poop.
SUSANINT. APARTMENT - DAY
I think the Bureau gave me this
assignment just to drive me crazy.
Now, what did you dig up on him?
NERDEXT. RURAL GAS STATION - DAY
Susan, at first I couldn't find anything.
Taxes, credit cards, social security
nada he was the invisible man.
NERD'S VOICEINT. RENTAL CAR - DAY
Then I back-doored a worm hole at
the Patent office.
NERD'S VOICEEXT. RURAL GAS STATION - DAY
He has two dozen patents on inventions
all classified top secret. My best guess...
your mister Tom Sloan is some kind of
black op special weapons genius.
SUSANINT. RENTAL CAR - DAY
Genius? The guy babbles like an idiot.
Okay, thanks. You sure you won't get
in trouble doing this?
NERD'S VOICE
Naw, only way I'd get caught is if the
government's watching every computer
in the country all the time. Listen, Susan,
where are you?
SUSAN
Oh, about 10 miles from--
The line abruptly goes dead.
SUSAN'S VOICEINT. APARTMENT - DAY
Hello? Hello?
SUSANRolling the window down a bit, Tom babbles like the Rain Man after an espresso.
Tom, I don't care what that thing is.
Now open the door, please.
TOMExhaling wearily, Susan fishes the car keys out. Tom aims a tiny wire-coiled
His spoor is strongest there. Spock
spores and spoors in the straw...
hey, DNA in the hay.
SUSAN
Uh yeah, whatever. Move over...
TOMGunning the motor, Tom peels out the car and trailer, just missing a passing truck
Hee hee hee I'm positive this
won't be negative. We were poles
apart, but still attracted.
SUSANSusan watches helplessly as Tom makes a sharp turn, plows through a wire fence,
Tom! Tom! Stop! Come back!
SUSANFlashing her badge, Susan rushes up to an open-mouthed, astonished gas pump jockey.
Damn this thing! All day long
SUSANThe young country bumpkin just stares blankly at Susan.
FBI agent! I need your vehicle!
SUSANMutely, the gas pump boy points to a rusty, dilapidated three speed push bike.
Hey, farm boy, wake up! How did
you get to work this morning?
TOMPutting his backpack down, Tom aims the gadget into a pile of hay off in a corner.
Fee fi fo fum...for a fee, I find a foe.
TOMFrom out of the darkened corner, a huge, shadowy GIANT rises out of the hay...
Straw man, tin man, don't be a
cowardly lyin' there. Let's go.
GIANTHead down, the Giant begins shuffling unhappily out. Suddenly, a sweating,
Please, Mister Sloan, don't take me
back...please.
TOM
Out of my hands, got to hand you over.
Hit the trail, into the trailer. Now.
SUSANEyes snapping wide, Susan suddenly spots the towering giant.
Tom, I've had it with--
SUSANFrom his backpack, Tom slips out a small device that looks like a mini-cross bow.
God!
TOM
Nope. Science. Marching on...
two by two, rule of 52, 26 double
helix pairs, serpents entwined.
SUSAN
Enough! Be quiet!
(to giant)
Who are you? What's this about?
GIANT
You don't know? You're not Level Six?
TOM
Okay, Susan, nothing to see here, keep
moving to a daily movement--
SUSAN
Shut up! You're driving me crazy!
(to giant)
I'm Susan Holme, a FBI agent assigned
to assist Mr. Sloan here. I don't know
what he's doing or what--
GIANT
Please help me! He's a freak tracer!
GIANTSizing up the giant, Tom rapidly taps a few buttons on the device.
They're Frankensteining me! Steroids,
human growth hormones, Olympic drugs...
my pituitary gland's as big as a bagel!
GIANTCHONK! Tom fires a metal bolt at the barn floor between the giant's legs.
Cyber-organic muscles, endorphin and
testosterone pumps, electric stimulators--
GIANTSnick! The middle finger of the iron fist flips up. Then WHUMP! the spring-
Noooo...
TOMSusan whips out her gun, gestures at Tom.
He was about to strike. I saw the signs.
So I gave him a strike on two balls.
I saved your life. How about a kiss?
Soft and wet, under my mistletoe
SUSAN
Get away from me! You're a lunatic!
SUSANTwo long shadows fall on Tom and Susan. Both turn, squinting at the two men
Turn around, hands behind you!
You're under arrest for assault and
whatever else I can--
TOMTom pushes a button on his crossbow weapon. The leg braces unsnap off the
Oh God! They found me! How...?
Susan! Jezebel! You betrayed me!
SUSANAs Tom desperately conceals his gadgets in his backpack, Susan shields her eyes
Oh, be quiet. I don't even know
who these people are.
SUSANThe two unsmiling agents, FRICK and FRACK, step towards Susan.
Let me see some ID.
FRICKBoth men flip out their wallets. They're empty. No badges, no ID.
I'm Frick. He's Frack. This is who
we work for.
FRACKSusan points at the scruffy, disheveled Tom guarding his backpack. Frick and
Agent Holme, these men don't exist.
FRICK
This incident never happened.
FRACK
If you report this officially, a dozen
co-workers will swear you were on
routine stake-out in another state.
FRICK
And your next drug test will test
positive for cocaine. Do you
understand?
SUSAN
Yeah, yeah relax. At least just tell
me what the hell this man does.
FRICKFrick and Frack impassively stare Susan down until she leaves, then they march
What man?
FRACK
I don't see any man.
FRICKEXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD - DAY
Relax, Tom, we don't care about your
little gadgets.
FRACK
We just want you on that chopper. You have another assignment.
COPThe cop squints, peers ahead intently, frowning.
Suspect is heading north...suspect
is not stopping...suspect is...
COPINT. ARMY JEEP - DAY
...wearing a mask, some kind of
disguise.
COPThe cop dives into the river, swims down to the empty Jeep. He doesn't see a dark
He's 10-50'ed in the water!
SHARK MANThe Shark Man hops into the police car and roars off.
Don't worry, I'll tell them where
you are.
TESTERRolling his eyes, Tester shakes his head. Tom runs his hands over his bare skin.
Uh...hello, Tom. Good job on the giant.
TOM
Microscopic fiber optics in polyester
threads, that's how you found me.
Never again. No nudes is good news.
TOMINT. COUNSELOR'S OFFICE - DAY
Sub-coetaneous tracers...you get under
my skin. I'll be checking all my orifices.
Friends like you, I need enemas.
Sighing, Tester holds a dossier towards Tom.
TESTER
I have another freak tracer job.
Very urgent, top priority.
TOM
Who's my partner? Susan? She's feisty.
I want her like a dog wants a long leg.
TESTER
Ah, no, not Susan. Someone else.
Someone more suited to your...ah...
special needs.
AMANDAThe black cat puppet scoots up to Amanda's mouth, grabs her tongue.
Cat got your tongue, John?
Amanda slips her hand into a black cat puppet.
AMANDA
It happens to everybody, see?
AMANDAThe little boy snickers, smiles slightly.
Uck, thith tathe ucky!
AMANDAHer office door suddenly opens. A co-worker quickly takes the boy out as the
Ahh, so...you can--
FRICKFrick snaps an official document in Amanda's face.
Amanda Blake? Your country
needs you. If you refuse, you will
be charged with sedition.
FRACK
As will your family, friends, and any
other co-conspirators. Let's go.
AMANDA
But I but my work--
FRICK
--has been cancelled for a week.
FRACK
Death in the family. Aunt Edna.
AMANDA
I don't have--
FRICKFrack points out the window to the silently hovering black helicopter.
Here's the death certificate.
FRACK
Our condolences.
AMANDA
But...I can't just leave.
FRACK
You can. Your dogs Huffin and Puffin
have been taken to a kennel.
FRICK
Your dental appointment tomorrow
has been re-scheduled.
FRACK
It was only a cleaning.
FRICKFrick and Frack firmly escort the bewildered Amanda out the door.
Chopper's waiting, Miss Bingham.
FRACK
Your country thanks you.
TECHNICIANINT. HELICOPTER - DAY
(into mouth mike)
Hard contact! Drop the frogs!
TECHNICIANINT. UNDERWATER - DAY
He's laying low on the bottom...
doesn't know we can track him.
Okay, he's moving!
TECHNICIANCHUNK! CHUNK! CHUNK! Three spears rip into the powerboat, exploding
Coming up fast, close to my position...
very close! He must be under--
TECHNICIANThe Shark Man shoots up to the surface right beside the stunned technician, stares
Stop shooting! Stop shooting! He's
using the boat as--
TECHNICIANINT. HELICOPTER - DAY
Lost the signal, we're blind! Dive team
out! Chopper, ready the harpoon!
TECHNICIAN'S VOICEEXT. UNDERWATER - DAY
Divers are out! Squish the fish!
TECHNICIANThe technician's joy fades as the torpedo's wake slowly turns towards the boat.
It's locked onto his transmitter!
Nothing can stop it now!
TECHNICIANThe Shark Man suddenly pops up, tosses a small blood-stained radio receiver into
Hey, hey, hey! What the hell's--
TECHNICIANBoth technician and driver leap into the water an instant before the torpedo rips
(to boat driver)
Jump! Jump!
TESTERAmanda comes into the office. Tester rises to his feet with a fixed smile that fades
Enter!
TESTERIgnoring her questions, Tester opens up a dossier with intelligence reports and
Please, have a seat. I'm Patrick Tester.
How was your flight here, Amanda?
AMANDA
Uh, where is here? Where am I?
TESTERPatrick gets to his feet, standing very straight, almost on tip-toe.
You have a degree in abnormal child
psychology...you work with autistic kids,
children with Tourettes syndrome, you're
single, attractive...you're perfect. Come
with me, please.
TESTER
We do research on genetic disorders
here. Occasionally some patients
refuse our treatments and leave